Today is a sad day. Today the world is diminished as it has one less spirit.
I should put a disclaimer on here that I didn't lose a close friend today. Some people I consider friends did.
For me, he was a teammate on the basketball court and an acquaintance who occasionally asked if I could garner him tickets to see one of our clients perform.
I don't have a right to usurp any of the condolences that rightfully belong to his close family and friends.
No matter. The sadness is there.
And the questions? Should I have made a better effort to have visited him while he was ill, as short as that time was? It's the kind of thing I usually ALWAYS do. But I didn't this time.
Perhaps it was because we had only hung out and known each other because of our mutual acquaintances and coincidental gym membership. I never really got to know him well.
But still, this sucks. And I mean sucks in a way that is truly sucky -- I'm so good with alliteration.
He was too young. A nice man. He had two daughters (correction). And a woman with whom he was in love. He had worked very hard and had been promoted. And day in and day out on the basketball court, he hustled and tried, no matter how bad he was, and let me tell you, he wasn't very good.
But it says something about the way he led his life. It spoke volumes that against greater competition, he would figure in as important in every game, getting rebounds, passing to those he knew shot better, and finishing plays that would change the context of a game. His one or two baskets could often be the deciding factor, and he knew he wasn't a number one draft pick. If two sides were recruiting teams, he probably would have been selected pretty late if you were going on talent alone. But life isn't about what innate gifts G-d grants you. It's about what you do with what you're given.
He did with what he was given, and from what I can see, he did it well. Probably better than a lot of us, particularly me. I can get caught up in crap and create a mountain out of a molehill. I can let my fears and worries weigh on me until though I'm sitting upright in a chair, I feel paralyzed and unable to move, think or function. I can lose my desire go outside and really stare up at that awesome star-filled sky and remember tomorrow is not promised.
He was private in his illness, not wanting to be seen as something less or something needy. I hope he knew those of us who did know him would never think of him that way.
How we handle death tells a lot about how we handled our life. I can't know what went through his mind knowing he was so young and tragically felled by something so rare for his age. But what I can speak to loosely, is the kind of person I had seen.
One thing that is great about life is the ability to learn from others. Sometimes the things we learn come from people we never get to a chance to thank. Some we never get to tell how much they mean to us because it would sound so corny or seem inappropriate. Or maybe we're just too self-conscious and worried about being misunderstood.
For me, someone who didn't get to know him well, today still sucks. As did knowing the fact he had an illness that would not be cured. It's unfair. And crappy. And tragic. And why G-d why? Are we only to see good people die young and assholes who wouldn't know an important moment if it flicked them across the nose live on?
We never know why some friendships sprout and others do not. Some people are in the perimeter of our lives because we just don't have room to make the circumference longer. Some choose us and some we choose. But people do seem to be in our lives for some kind of reason and vice versa.
I find it the ultimate irony that our gym is closing soon and the place where we made these memories playing basketball will be shuttered. It feels like a tribute to his memory for me in some way, incredibly appropriate considering he was there for at least five years with us playing. And now he won't be. Things won't and wouldn't be the same without him. And perhaps our games should go somewhere else.
I can't speak to whether I had any affect on his world. But I can speak to the affect he had on mine. RIP Izzy. May your soul glide with the angels and soar on mighty wings.
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