(***AS AN FYI NEW FACTS HAVE COME TO LIGHT THAT JAMES EAGAN HOLMES' MOTHER'S QUOTE WAS IN FACT TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT.... SHE WASN'T AWARE OF THE SHOOTING IN THE WEE HOURS OF THE MORNING WHEN SHE FIELDED THE PHONE CALL IN WHICH SHE WAS QUOTED AS IDENTIFYING HER SON AS THE SHOOTER.)
What happened over the weekend at THE DARK KNIGHT RISES opening weekend in Aurora, Colorado was yet another tragic reminder of Colorado's already weary past. Images of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were resurrected at a movie theater, where a shooter dressed in full body armor and gas mask unleashed his personal issues on the public at large.
No more words need to be said about the event itself.
However, what is going on in Colorado is not something we should presume is so different from the rest of our country. We have a parenting crisis in my mind, and that's being kind.
When the news broke that both a three month old infant and a four year old were at this midnight showing, my first reaction was concern for their well being, as was I for all involved in this dreadful event.
However, upon hearing they were indeed all right, my next thought was nothing but abject horror. Just what kind of parent takes a three month old and a four year old to a midnight movie? Then, more horror --what kind of parent takes kids of this age to a movie screening the kind of content THE DARK KNIGHT RISES was going to provide. This is a movie about good and evil on an exponential scale (from what I've read), one that contains violence of a realistic and disturbing nature. It reminded me of the night I went to see Jurassic Park and found myself sitting next to a six year old. Now, any parent who had done one iota of reading would know that Jurassic Park wasn't about cuddly, friendly giant reptiles. It was a story written as a warning to science not to tread into realms we can't control, and involves the cloned dinosaurs taking their appetites out on their human masters. Who decided this would be good for a six year old? And don't give me the crap about how the kid probably cried and screamed he wanted to see the movie. So the heck what... your six year old's wants doesn't trump his/her needs, and if you have no judgment on a movie like that being appropriate or now, then I ask you what are you doing being a parent?
Discussion broke out in my office about this very subject. To my surprise, more people than I could have possibly believed didn't see anything wrong with this mother's choice regarding the midnight showing:
"What if I wanted to see the movie?" one person asked me.
"The kid would sleep through it anyway," another person stated.
I attempted to be kind in my retort, but quickly the words came from my mouth.
To the first:
"Then arrange for a damn babysitter and if you can't go another time."
To the second:
"That's not the point. Assess what kind of a crowd do you expect at weekday midnight screening first of all, and then at a 'Dark Knight Rises' movie. This isn't a family film drawing the type of crowd where a three month old or four year old should be. Are you kidding me?"Both were incredulous. Both were under the impression that the premiere of such a highly anticipated film could easily exist side-by-side with the needs of children that age. It wasn't just that they thought they could deal with the child and the movie, it was the fact that the movie came above the child's needs, an absolute calamity (to use some hyperbole) in a parenting judgment.
Regardless of whether or not the infant might have slept through it, what if he/she didn't? What if she awoke to that clamor, to that din? Forget the fact you'd interrupt the movie for everyone else, you'd have to leave the movie anyway! And how would the parent deal with said child the next day when he/she is ornery because of the lack of sleep. Sure, it's just one day, but my gut says that a mother of this nature probably doesn't take to kindly to her kids being in a bad mood. Yet we know children need a pattern of good sleep to help them survive their daily grind, which is a world of slow-moving time and fast moving thoughts.
I ask this mother, since when do the needs of you as an adult supersede those of the children that depend on you?
***The other piece of news that was disturbing was was that when the mother of James Eagan Holmes heard about the shooting and that the police had her son, she apparently told them she believed he was the guilty party.
So this mother knew her son had the capability (and possibly the desire) to do this sort of thing, yet we're not sure she did anything about it?
True, Holmes is 24 years of age and his mother is NOT LEGALLY responsible for him. However, the fact that she didn't doubt, and in fact confirmed, that her son James was totally likely to have committed this kind of act makes me shake my head in confusion.
Both of these mothers scare the living daylights out of me. In both cases you have women who have shown thoughtlessness and selfishness, and both need their heads examined. I feel for Mrs. Holmes and the fact she has a son who did this, but if you were that certain he was this kind of kid, just what kind of values did you instill in him that he would turn to this solution as the answer?
As for the mother of the kids at the theater, you should be completely ashamed of yourself, choosing the need to be the first to see a fictional and violent film over the sleep and safety of your children.
These two mothers, and unfortunately the people that supported their behavior at my office, are a microcosm of what is wrong with our country. Parenting 101 has gone by the wayside.
When people ask why bad things happen, I look at these two parents and say that's a start of answering the question. It goes much deeper than a simple blame of these people, but the lack concern and judgment shown by these women bothers me, and is clearly a pattern that is evolving more and more in a country that is being numbed to what is actually disturbing to a child. I question their education and whether they've simply become lazy as respects their children's needs.
There is no excuse for laziness when it comes to children. They rely on us, the adults, to make good choices for them, much like we the populace rely on our leaders to make decisions for us.
We've seen how angry our populace is here at home now that we don't trust our leaders. What is to come of the child that realizes he can't trust his parents?
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